love yourself

Ever since kindergarten lunch boxes, I’ve always had chocolates to snack on.

lunch box choc

Chocolates first came into my life as sweet gifts from travels beyond the South Pacific. My beautiful aunt – who also wore her Buiniga with pride – was a flight attendant who would spoil me with boxes of chocolate-covered macadamia nuts from Hawaii, silver wrappings of Hershey kisses and Reese’s Peanut Butter cups from Los Angeles, and Bounty, Snickers and Mars Bars party packs from Sydney.

variety mix

These are for you to nibble on during recess at school,’ she would slowly say to me as she handed the goodies to mother dearest.

The crinkling sounds the packets made gave me life.  

It was the main reason I prioritized school – and STAYED.  For instance, the hurricane in 1994 was so bad that so many trees fell around the streets of Lautoka and parents called up the school to notify their children’s absence in advance. Only 15 students attended school that cloudy day. Guess who showed up to class with a smile on her face?

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The May 2000 coup occurred 200 kilometers or 4 hours drive away from home. Many fled the country while teachers surveyed a large amount of student absentees – BUT GUESS WHO SHOWED UP READY FOR MATH with seven other students?

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The School Head-Master – who happened to be my class teacher as well – was so proud of his students for showing up to class. The gentle teacher was almost in tears as he gave the few of us a pep talk before continuing to teach us the syllabus for the day.

Call it early behavioral conditioning or the Pavlov theory in action, I couldn’t care less. All I know was, at the break of dawn, my uniform had to be ironed, my lunch packed – goodies packed and cross-checked twice – and I had to be out of the house and in school before 7:30am for the 8am start. No school meant no chocolates.  Learning was as enjoyable and as sweeeeet as the goodies hidden in my lunch box.

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The reason I’m only linking these chocolate delights with my learning journey is because it became strikingly apparent that this did not apply to other areas in my life. Take netball for instance. Our netball squad were proud champions with no losses in the Western Division Netball Competition. However, not many from my family showed up to any of my games and my nerdy best friends were equally as bored with the idea of watching me play and win. There weren’t any chocolates in my bag either during netball season. I lived on glucose and sandwiches prepared by the hardworking coach on Game Days. So, not even winning the championship trophy with the squad could later entice me to stay or pursue a netball career. When education called, I quickly dropped netball and never looked back.

But as time went on, I thought of cutting down on my chocolate consumption as it was slowly becoming a go-to stress reliever and an unhealthy addiction. I realized this when one of my friends found a stash in my bag.

You know, those healthy, vegan, gluten-free stuff is super expensive – SEVEN DOLLARS for soya bean crisps and fruits? Gerrarahia! I’d rather spend 2 bucks on this chocolate bar than seven bucks on that healthy snack. No thanks.

It’s not the same as smoking so why are you so quick to judge me?’

I’m part of a society in uni called chocolate aficionado where we appreciate, talk about and eat chocolates. Do you want some?’

Excuses.

Lies I’ve fed myself over the past few years to justify my habit whenever somebody would ask out of curiosity.

Whenever Lent came around, it was so easy for me to give up social media, TV and many other things, but giving up chocolates just for 40 days was never included in the meeting agenda, neither was the topic up for discussion.

Because I knew I had a problem that I currently had no solution to.

And as much as I tried to wean myself off of it on my own, my plans to stay away or create new habits would always backfire and I would always find my feet walking toward the isle in the supermarket ready to get my quick fix again, and again, and again. I was chained and permanently hooked by a habit that eventually got out of control.

So I gave up.

bart simpson

Last year, I gave up trying to resist my cravings and just settled into the fact that some people love their beer, packets of smokes and therefore, I am no different. I gave up trying to quit a bad habit on my own.

This was also around the same time when I drew closer to God in prayer.

better days

I made some time in my busy day to pray with other Christians, fast, read and meditate on God’s Word and just enjoy being in His presence.  

Around that time of prayer and fasting, I lived on water and an idea came to mind (Praise God) to put lemon slices and freshly squeezed lemon juice into my water.

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Ugh! Lemon juice made me nostalgic of the worst days during childhood where I fell terribly ill.  To help nurse me back to health, my mother would boil water, allow it to cool, squeezed fresh lemon juice in before giving me the mixture to drink.

I remember despising the bitter taste of the strong citrus drink. When I felt better a few hours later, I remember getting out of bed and walking out of my room toward the kitchen only to see a large gallon of that same lemon drink with my name on it.

lemon gallon

I had to finish the fluids in the gallon before she arrived home from work. The lemon in my water would always do something that made me feel so much better.  Obviously I’m not saying this is the cure to illnesses. Seek advice from your family doctor (our family doctor advised my mother to do this so I could drink more fluids).

 

 

So last year, I grabbed a beautiful water bottle, mixed the lemon water drink and drank it throughout the day.

water lemon

I wasn’t even embarrassed of my lemon water during team meetings. People’s opinions didn’t matter an inch to me during that time.  

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In moments where I felt hesitant to drink this water, I turned to google and youtube to cross-check if I was mixing my water right. God also had a way of confirming things that kept me going and trusting Him in the process.

Maybe I needed to learn to give up all control? Let go and let God lead the way? I honestly didn’t have a clue why God was leading me to drink it but I did it anyway. Eventually, I gave up coffee and tea as well (don’t ask me how it happened. It just did). 

That was last year.

Why am I even mentioning this?

Well, last week, after a very stressful day, I decided to take a detour through the mall thinking to myself that the kit-kat blocks were a dollar special during this time. I was thinking about this.  This was weird because when it comes to making a decision concerning chocolates, I never think. 

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I would simply be led by my feelings or cravings and I never thought about the price. $0.99 or $4.50, the old me would buy it anyway.

My feet would know exactly where to go, my eyes locked in on my target and not wavering. The old me would be on autopilot mode, picking up the goodies, purchasing it, leaving the store. Ripping open the deep purple and heavenly gold wrappings to expose the smooth block of decadent chocolate hidden beneath – I would quickly get my fix and immediately feel so much pleasure jolting the nerves bringing me to a place of pure bliss. 

ratatouille

 

Oh don’t laugh too hard.

At high school during class, I had discreetly slipped the food of the gods to a good friend of mine.

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She took a bite right away (because d’oh, who could resist chocolate? Also, Lautoka enjoys a very hot and dry weather so I could understand why she had to gobble it down right away to prevent it from melting all over the place). The moment she indulged the candy, I immediately noticed how her eyes tightly squeezed shut and her body tensing up. She had a full minute of pulling weird faces.

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Then I realized that she felt the same way about chocolates as I did.

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We were both addicted.

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But as I was mindfully approaching the supermarket isle last week, I recognized that something was evidently missing. I couldn’t figure out what it was that was missing right away until I realized that I had been standing in front of the chocolates section longer than expected.  

The store attendant slowly walked by to see if I was alright.

I was alright. I was fine. I felt normal.

Maybe I was undecided on the variety even though the kit-kat was indeed on special for only a dollar.

But I kept pacing along the isle, waiting for something to happen, perhaps to overrule my own judgment like the thousands of instances before.

This was unlike me to be so indecisive over chocolates – something I’ve had with me my whole life! Something I seriously thought I could never break away from. Something I gave up fighting last year and accepted defeat.

The old me that had the cravings, twisted undying attachment for chocolates – all of that in its entirety – was missing. Gone. I could feel the massive vacant space within me that the dark cravings left behind. 

It’s like that feeling where you don’t own a pet dog but you find yourself walking into a supermarket just to buy dog food. Weird and unnecessary.  

I finally turned on my heel and for the very first time, I walked out of the supermarket with no chocolate in hand.

It was only after a few minutes of walking away that my mind finally registered what had just happened a few moments ago. The chains I had wanted to break away from and set myself free a very long time ago, was finally broken. Tears streamed from my eyes. I was very happy. I still am. God did it. God set me free.

Freedom.

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I laughed so hard when I got home to find one of my family members chuck a massive bag of M&Ms in front of me. When I told them that I no longer indulged in chocolates, this family member announced the news to everyone else and publicly vowed to bring home boxes and bags of chocolates just to test me. As I type this, there’s a massive box of Oreos and three packets of Tim Tams in the cupboard. It has been sitting there for three days now. 

SIGH

sigh

 

With God in my life, I will strive to let go of the ego within and let God direct my footsteps.

Wishing you all a Blessed 2018.

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mvb

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Young Eyes Watching

I logged into my personal facebook account to find a message request.  The message was from a young and very handsome man.  Before reading his message, I did what most introverts would do and did a little digging on his profile to see what kind of personality I could place on his essay-looking text.  Hmm…a footy player who loves good food and is very loyal to his squad.  From the looks of things, his squad could easily pass as fitness gurus. Yes, he does appear to have the perfect virtual personality.

I proceeded to read his message which was a gentle plea to date one of my younger sisters. What a gentleman he is, to be asking permission from big sister.  He already wins bonus points of approval, if you ask me.  Now, lets pause for just a second here.  If a guy makes contact with you to tell you that he is interested in one of your close friends or [in my case] sister without her knowledge, what would you have done?  I guess we all have different personality types and there is no one-size fits all answer to this question.  But just out of curiosity, it would be great to know your response.

So back to the message request. What did I do?  Simple. I told my sister point blank.  She read the intimate message and smiled.  “Of course I am flattered. He is a great guy. But, no thank you.”

I looked at her to see whether she was kidding.  “Are you seriously saying, that you are not interested in this good looking guy with VERY good online etiquette?”

My younger sister smiled.  “Sis, I know me very well. And I know this guy very well too. You only just learned about him a few seconds ago from reading his message and doing a bit of background digging online, but I grew up with this guy. And the answer is NO. So can we just drop this?”

The entire arena erupts with loud applause for my younger sister.

She was right. Instead of choosing PATH B of stringing this poor guy along in the hopes of eventuating a promise that would most likely never happen without my sister’s knowledge and approval, I opted for PATH A.  Path A was to let the sister know and get her response on the matter, point blank, before telling the guy immediately so he can move on or pursue and not be left out in the cold, second-guessing.  If the answer was affirmative, then by all means, go for it. If the answer was negative, then be upfront about it to the guy so that he does not waste his time on something that will never happen and move on. Lord knows, he deserves to be treated better.

War Room

I will be turning the big 3-0 in a couple of months and to be honest I’m at a point in my life where I’m not sure as to whether or not I’m living up to my full potential. Sometimes I’m proud of myself beyond measure and it shows in how I carry myself. Other times I speculate the real purpose of my existence. There are so many things happening on this earth that as an individual you are tasked with the duty of devising a plan to either be sucked into the vortex that is life and be lost or stand upright and soldier on until all else makes sense. But does it ever make sense? Any of it?

Last night after so many months of not touching the television I finally saw fit to put on a movie and the list went from one movie to about 6 at the end of the night. The earlier movies are a haze, the only movie I remember is the final movie of the night “War Room” not all our readers are Christian and some may not even believe in God with all of that in mind, I feel I as a Christian and a believer in God I need to share my experience after watching that movie. I realized that as was portrayed in the movie, we are always trying to fight the battle on our own and we sometimes unconsciously rely on our human strength and abilities, when God is standing right by you encouraging you to let him carry that heavy load, that burdensome issue on your behalf and to fight the battle for you. You on the other hand need to just PRAY!!!

I must admit that during the recent 40 days of Lent where the rule of thumb for the season is Prayer, Fasting and alms giving I have failed miserably in all 3 areas. If I did one the other 2 would suffer, after watching the War Room I have identified that my problem was and is not that I do not wish to pray, I have just used my time up doing other unnecessary things. These things have taken up my time and therefore the time I should have been giving the Lord in prayer is given elsewhere. My time is given to watching TV Series, listening to my music on my playlist, constantly updating my Facebook, Twitter and Instagram account. I realize with much embarrassment that I have become that person. the person who checks to see how many people liked her profile picture, how many people liked or commented on my status update. It’s atrocious and disgusting I know, but it is my reality. I think that had I not realized this earlier I would be spiraling down a road to a slow and agonizing demise. Kinda reminds me of the story of the frog, put that frog into a pot filled with water and turn on the heat, as the pot heats up the frog stays on unsuspecting of the end result until it is too late.

With so much noise and distraction around us in this day and age we need to take the time to reconnect with our inner core and also our spiritual links. We are of course more than just our physical selves, there are so many aspects to the human being that we so unconsciously close off because we allow ourselves to drown in the problems and issues of the world. I urge you call on God in prayer, let him fight and carry our battles and trials for us.

At the end of the day the battle isn’t exaclty ours to fight, it is ours to pass on to God to take care of for us. Take for instance a child trying to open a bottle of candy, the child does not possess the ability to open the bottle, the child will look for an adult (most of the time it is Mom or Dad) they will request the adult to open this bottle for them. We are the child and God is the adult (Mom or Dad), let us take our closed bottle of candy (our problems) and request God to open this bottle for us. Let us also pray for the ability to accept that also the answer may be”NO” because the cany might
disrupt your appetite since the dinner feast is close at hand 🙂

Presence

Bare feet on concrete slabs, underneath the blue, cloudless sky, I hear the roar of engines from the heavens. Tearing through air and space, the black, sharp-looking fighter jets following its trajectory toward the half-intoxicated yet curious crowd. The jets neared and zoomed past us within a mere few seconds; its engines roaring like a loud, angry lion, leaving people utterly terrified and yet in awe by its majestic beauty. Following a heavy round of applause from the extremely satisfied crowd, the Masters of Ceremony proudly listed down all the names of the fighter jet pilots who flew overhead.

Men.

They were all male fighter jet pilots.

Hair still standing at the back of my neck, with eyes wide open in mini-electrifying shocks.

I took a deep breath and sighed out loud.

‘Wow.’

I looked around and saw the reflection of my thoughts from the crowd. Most of them were just as amazed as I was at the air-entertainment showcased at this particular event. The fighter jets made a U-turn and flew back to show off more of its extremely dangerous fighter pilot skills.

One thing was very apparent. One thing I strongly felt at that event.

There was this strong presence of really scary, crazy dominant red-blooded male, adrenaline pumping, masculinity showcased in the air. And yet, from what was felt as an emotional chaos, there was this strong sense of order of execution of the event. How…mind-blowing. It was definitely a sensory overload experience for me.

To be honest, that particular event got me thinking a lot about masculinity. Nobody at that event had to spell it out. It was definitely felt. Or at least, I did.

How do I view masculinity?

Masculinity is; that mechanic guy with oil tainted overalls hard at work every night for three months straight bringing an old, hopeless, run-down truck roaring back to life. It’s those veins etched along the smoothness of the arms that handle heavy cargo boxes all day without complaint. It’s that “I got it” nod to the grateful Asian grandma who needed help carrying her trolley full of vegetable groceries down the stairs. It’s most, if not all, of Quentin Tarantino films (especially Django. Oh! And Inglorious Bastards. As well as The Hateful Eight, Kill Bill, I honestly could name a few more, but, you get it). It’s heavy duty construction work on a hot 38 degrees Celsius workday, deep sea fishing and bringing home massive King fishes, whale hunting, shark feeding, bush-hiking, adrenaline-seeking, artistically riveting, raw and powerful and yet such naturally executed – presence.

Masculinity is; that immediate strong grasp around my shirt collar pulling me back to shore when that strong wave current almost swept me out into the open sea at Natadola Beach. It’s those bruised fists that was more than willing to give another black eye to that ex-guy friend (not boyfriend. There’s a difference) who just didn’t understand that 1 AM was bedtime – not ‘Psst…I wanna tell you something, just come outside mada’ time. It’s the sweat gliding down from his forehead as he continues to drive the digging fork deeper into the earth with the weight of his right foot, planting and harvesting food crops enough to feed the whole neighborhood. The sound and sight of colorful sports cars speeding to the finish line. Of motorbikes flying into the air and through fire-rings. Of farm boys wearing cowboy hats mounting an angry stallion purely for entertainment purposes. Those fighter jet pilots skilled in taming the mechanical beasts of the air.

Masculinity is; seeing his many sons behave like respectful yet diligent young men who respect, protect and look out for their sisters, mothers and grandmothers. Pouring my drink into my glass without me asking. It’s gently pulling me aside, away from everyone, to assertively remind me not to hurt my back lifting those chairs into the meeting room as he’s already organizing it himself. It’s willingly placing my safety and well being as a top priority before his own. Staying healthy and the neatly trimmed beard on his face. How beautifully well put together he is; and the handsome, rugged form of art when he isn’t. The thunder of his laughter uncovering even deeper laugh lines. That rugged scruff I feel against my smooth cheek when I lean in for a kiss hello, and that whiff of that subtle cologne beneath his neatly ironed shirt. That towering height, those wide shoulders, that calm confidence, that strong presence in the room. Those little mindless fidgets with straightening his neck tie, leaning in to discuss points of importance, or clearing his throat before speaking his mind assertively, unbeknownst to the group of eagerly attentive force of femininity slowly conglomerating nearby (and obviously triggered by his presence).

Masculinity is; a terrifying force against the weak, if it doesn’t mature well enough, or at all. It is definitely intimidating to the misunderstood. Yet, in the most common language of love, masculinity is protective, safe, and very warm.

Masculinity.

Masculinity is good.

The struggle is real #Lent2017

When you’ve lived with someone for, lets say, more than twenty years, you tend to predict much of their little lifestyle habits. You know their favorite list of television shows off by heart. You know their favorite drink to sip whilst scrolling through facebook to unwind after a long day at work. You know what they’re going to mumble to themselves before hanging up the phone on one of their close friends. Heck, you can even predict how long they’ll take in the shower. You would know the person inside out just from living together for more than twenty years, given there are a few exceptions of course.

Take for instance, my Dad. Right from age 7, I was well aware of the fact that he disliked sweets. He would lecture all of us kids – not about the dangers of eating too much sweets – but how much he despised sweets, period. He even gave longer lectures when he saw cream buns, chocolate cake, cakes with fancy decorated cream or any cake with cream that was served for afternoon tea. He just didn’t prefer the sweeter side of life. But what he did like, was plain, wholemeal bread. The more boring looking, the more appealing.

Ugh.

But something really weird happened today. Out of the blue, my Dad comes home from work with a plastic filled with blueberry muffins, (my favorite) French Brioche and (my-ultimate-favorite-food-I-swear-I-go-weak-if-I-don’t-have-it-when-it’s-just-sitting-there-on-the-table) Madeira cake (mouth-watering sweetness. ‘Nough said).

But the only problem is, this is unlike my Dad to buy something like sweet food out of the blue. He doesn’t even eat these kinds of sweet food.

So the question is, why did this have to happen today?

What is so special with today that got me scratching my head wondering whether or not Dad would go through all that trouble of spending his precious loose change to buy something he wouldn’t eat himself? Weird, isn’t it?

While no other answer seems legit enough, I do know for a fact that I’ve been looking forward to today since last week.

You see, today is Ash Wednesday.

The day when the Lent season begins. There will be a lot of Christians (including yours truly) across the nation and around the world recommitting themselves to God this season. A special season has commenced for Christians across the nation and around the world. A special season that commenced with the mark of The Cross by Holy Water to the forehead to reaffirm that I belong to God. A special season that commenced with the mark of The Cross traced in the symbolic black ashes. Since Lent is an intimate opportunity to draw closer to God and people with sincere intentions, ensuring that we stay strong against moments of temptation can be a struggle.

 

And once objectives have been established and words of deep reflection parted by the Reverend Dr. at tonight’s Ash Wednesday Service, I come home to my first temptation – sweet food – especially since I’ve always had a soft spot for Madeira cakes and Brioche for the longest time.

I swear, the struggle during Lent this year, is real.

Temptation is already here, sitting in that grey plastic from Woolies, absent-mindedly purchased by Father dearest. Of course I forgive my Dad when he’ll wake up tomorrow morning clearing up his throat to deliver yet another long lecture on how much he despises Brioche and Madeira cake, and possibly (and this is my personal favorite prediction), why didn’t anyone talk him out of it? “Obviously, I was busy talking on the phone and not knowing what I was putting in the trolley. You know how much I hate these kinds of food, why didn’t you say something!?” LOL

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What do you do if you have only 15 minutes left for class?

What do you do if you have only 15 minutes left for class?

I notice something while preparing for class.

I let that something continue to distract me to the point where I find myself here, writing this blog post instead of packing up and making my way over to class which begins in about 12 minutes now.

So what is this distraction you might ask.

It’s a fellow student standing next to me. His eyes tightly closed behind his thin black rimmed glasses. His hands clasped together against his chest. His lips moving, uttering something as if in prayer.

He stoops to the floor. Kneels on both hands and knees. His head dives down. Right down. His forehead touches the floor. He gets back up again and repeats the whole thing three times or so.

I look around and notice groups of students studying, slurping down water and chatting about recent group work assessments before returning my attention at the student praying next to me.

What a sight to watch. All I see is commitment and real dedication to God.

A part of me is overwhelmed with guilt as I watch him return to his laptop and pile of papers on his desk next to me. I’m suddenly left asking myself, how is my current relationship with God?  Hmm…

 

101 Reasons to stay alive

Because I love and appreciate your existence, here are my 101 reasons to stay alive. Enjoy!

1. Sunrise
2. Sunsets
3. Cute puppies
4. The feeling you get when you tell a funny joke and they laugh
5. Christmas holidays
6. Movie-marathons
7. Strolling to the beach and feeling excited
8. Climbing mango trees
9. Potting mango with your gang after school or work
10. Mango achar, Mango skin, monkey’s ball, Chinese lolly, pawpaw skin
11. Winning random prizes in school, work or club gathering
12. Receiving a genuine compliment for making an effort
13. The feeling you get when you notice your crush staring at you from across the room
14. That wedding you’ve always planned in your head and shared to your gang just for fun
15. Nice flowers
16. Waterfall
17. Playing volleyball at the beach with random strangers who later want to add you on facebook
18. The rush of adrenaline you feel when you’re running towards the beach
19. Roasted chicken wings
20. Roasting marshmallows
21. Bonfires
22. Red velvet cake
23. That random moment when something or someone makes you laugh so hard and you just can’t stop laughing
24. That feeling you get when your favourite clothes fit you perfectly after you’ve worked your beautiful body so hard at the gym
25. Tropical fruit smoothies
26. Hash browns
27. “Catching up sessions” with the ladies or the girls over coffee or dinner
28. The free sauces from Hungry Jacks, Maccas, KFC that you like so much
29. Funny gifs
30. Funny YouTube videos
31. That feeling you get when you got the job and they want you to start immediately
32. There are inspiring and interesting people God has aligned in your life, that you are yet to meet
33. Dancing while making roti whilst listening to your favourite radio station
34. Your favourite song or music
35. That feeling of deep belonging you have when you’re hanging out with a group of Christians who you study the Bible together, pray for each other, attend concerts, camp in the middle of nowhere, drinks at the bar, dinner or National Christian Conferences together
36. Waking up on your cosy bed on a quiet, peaceful Sunday morning
37. Favourite collection of movies like Chocolat, Surfs Up, The Lord of The Rings Trilogy, Blood Diamond, A Walk to Remember etc.
38. French films, Bollywood movies, American rom coms
39. Favourite bands
40. Channing Tatum movies
41. There are ice-cream flavours you haven’t tried yet
42. Pretty cupcakes
43. Pretty shoes
44. Barbeques straight from the street and prepared with extra love
45. Nacho Libre
46. Cute babies
47. Free sweets from neighbours on Diwali
48. Wearing pretty sari’s during Diwali because you love getting all dolled up
49. Firecrackers at night during Diwali, New Year’s Eve and Shows
50. Merry-go-rounds and fun rides
51. Taking a selfie in the bathroom with your gang
52. The feeling you get when you facebook stalk people you find interesting
53. Using your favourite photo filter
54. Photoshop
55. There are lipsticks you haven’t tried yet
56. There are meals and exotic food you haven’t tried yet
57. There are pretty cars you haven’t seen yet
58. Your favourite authors and people who inspire you to be better
59. Your favourite Marvel comic superheroes
60. Mascara
61. Constantly new break-throughs: within the past 10 years, you’ve experienced free Wi-Fi, Apple computers, A Black President of the United States, Facebook, Nandos, Temple Run – and it’s only just the beginning of greater things to come
62. Athletics carnival, Cokes
63. Festivals!
64. The smell of lovo after church service on Sunday
65. Vaka lolo, Sivaro, Fakei
66. Lolo bun
67. Singing in the shower
68. Cold showers
69. Steamy hot showers before bed
70. The smell of coffee in the morning
71. Chilling in the bath tub with a good book on a Friday night
72. Barrack and Michelle Obama
73. Free Wi-Fi
74. Cover songs
75. X-Factor, American Idol (be inspired, disgusted or amused by performances)
76. Funny facebook confessions
77. Watching rugby live
78. Watching rugby over grog
79. When your best friend is happy
80. Warm hugs
81. Those funny moments of watching horror movies or telling scary stories at night and that one kid in the group asks you to escort them to the bathroom because they need to pee
82. Jamming sessions
83. Window shopping
84. There are still some things about your ancestors you haven’t learned yet
85. Seeing money in your bank account
86. Getting paid
87. Singing in the church choir
88. Singing ‘Ni Toro Mai Turaga’ to yourself
89. The feeling you get when you close your eyes to ask God for something
90. Miracles
91. Mozilla Firefox
92. Facebook notifications
93. Snapchat
94. The feeling you get when you finished your morning or afternoon run
95. The feeling you have when your crush sends you a friend request
96. The feeling you get when your crush likes your photos
97. When you can’t stop smiling because you know that somebody you like actually cares about you
98. Because people do care about you. I mean, blog post reference
99. Lifeline is free AND available 24/7. 13 11 14 if you want to talk.
100. The people at Headspace are young, share similar experiences and are willing to help you. You are NEVER alone. Google them, check out their activities on twitter and see how you can get involved.

101. Because you are destined for greatness.

Peace and Love
~MVB~