“I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day” (E. B. White)
I look back at our latest post and realize with a cringe that it was three (3) long years ago that the last post was entered and the maramavabuiniga has become a quite room of non activity.
Sometimes you look back and you realize how much things have changed or haven’t at all. Either ways you wish to either improve it or live in it and be happy in the moment.
I awoke this morning after a short illness, it is during this time that I was stuck in bed that I began to view life differently. I realise that at an age where most women are either married, have children and a significant other I don’t. Which begs the question “What am I doing with my life?” I have so many things that I aspire to either become or accomplish but in doing so I need to be certain of where I am going and how I want to get there. I believe the problem with me is that I am too afraid. I am afraid, I’m afraid of movin on with my life. I’m afraid of moving away from my parent’s. For so long I was treated as a baby, where everything was done for me, if I needed something Mom would get it for me, if I wanted something but couldn’t afford it, Mom would buy it for me and I wouldn’t have to worry about spending a single cent. I am also afraid that I might become so successful that I won’t need my parent’s, as ridiculous as it sounds I must admit that it does seem almost logical.
I realize now that in order to make anything of my myself more than what I currently am right now I need to move out of my comfort zone. I need to grow into myself and stop being such a scared cat that I can’t even stand on my own two feet.
I can do this!! I can both make a difference in this world and enjoy it, how can I do that? By just doing it and stop trying to plan my day so much that it looks like everybody else’s.
It might not make sense to most people but to me, right now, it does make a whole lot of sense. 🙂
I need to be confident enough to make my life for me!!!
Love Life, Love Fiercely.